Today we are earning your "MAKE IT UP AS YOU GO" badge.
Getting your pilot's license to fly by the seat of your Spanx is an invaluable mothering skill!
I'll share some of my more pathetic yet also valiant attempts at winging it.
I grew up in an athletic family, not a dancing family. I know nothing about dance or the ballet recital underworld and protocol. When I arrived home from a business trip, I had to immediately go into "Dance Mom" mode for my 6 year old's ballet recital dress rehearsal that evening.
To a "never-danced-in-my-life" Mom, dress rehearsal = wear the dress so you know you can move in it. To a "danced-your-entire-life" Mom, it's a whole other story.
NO-DANCE MOM can't find a scrunchie to pull back Girl's hair, so I huddle in the corner gnawing at the elastic from my badge-holder I wore on her business trip to fashion into a hair tie. A real "Momguyver" moment.
DANCE-ALLSTAR MOM has a tackle box she slams on the table and "whump! whump! whump!" flips open 3 tiers to unveil eyeshadow, mascara, lip gloss, glitter, eyeliner, glue on jewel dots, hair bows, ribbons, snottiness, and judgement. YES, I swallowed my pride and took the damn hair tie she thrust at me with a sneer.
On recital night:
DANCE-ALLSTAR comes prepared with a dozen sacrificial congratulatory roses.
NO-DANCE realizes you are supposed to do this so I frantically call NO-DANCE DAD to grab some sort of foliage on the way but none is to be found.
Flowers are not an option. I remember Girl was madly in love with a rubber chicken at the costume store so when she returns backstage after dancing her little toes off, I tell her to look around at all of the pretty flowers the other girls are getting. Explaining that while they are lovely, they will eventually die and (ok, maybe I didn't need to be that dramatic but MY POINT IS) I know one thing she REALLY REALLY wants and it's The Rubber Chicken and we will pick it up on our way home to congratulate her success. Girl can not be more thrilled.
While the Celebratory Dead Chicken will never become a tradition in the ballet world, it remains one of the most memorable happy moments of Girl's life, so it's going in the win column!